if you gave me $1000 to spend I would still click lowest to highest price
we’re going to look back at events like this when we’re older and be so embarrassed it was even an issue.
when ur teacher says you cant do a project in one night and you do
my mother doesn’t like tattoos
art belongs on a wall
well i say no one
not even my mother
gets to tell me that i can’t
be a masterpiece
in 5th grade i used to suck on my arm and i dont know why but it was a really bad habit of mine like how kids sucked their thumbs, i sucked on my arm and my cousin who was in like 10th grade at the time asked if i had a hickey on my arm and i didnt know what it was and i said yes and he told me i was a “playa” and i told him i liked sports
omggg is this real omg this is so sad and scary
whaT THE FUCK
What the actual flying fuck
this is from blades of glory
this aint duck season
IH MY GOD I AM SOBBING
Ellen’s Oscar Pizza Guy Gets His Tip
I LOVE JOKES THAT ARE SO TERRIBLE THEY BECOME FUNNY IRONICALLY I LITERALLY LAUGH SO HARD AT THOSE ITS EMBARASSING
Why couldn’t the man find his map
Because he lost his map
Repeat after me: I am a goddess. My spirit is towering, my soul is mighty, my breasts are magnificent and my shoes are super fucking cute.
Can we take a minute to appreciate that most of the humans are shitting their pants, because JESUS ITS AN ALIEN OR AT THE VERY LEAST A DUDE WITH A MAGIC HAMMER AND HE”S BACK FROM THE DEAD, and Coulson is all “Listen here skippy, you might be magic and outweigh me by 70lbs and have a magic hammer, but I’ve seen Nick Fury without his morning coffee, so don’t try that shit on me.” Completely fucking unfazed that he’s talking to a God.
Son of Coul indeed.
“Listen here skippy.”